2. Dear Diary: The First Maybe Love October 22, 2009
Posted by bittersweetm in Dear Diary.Tags: Dear Diary, maybe, love, first
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The second chapter/entry in the Dear Diary series. I would greatly appreciate your feedback!
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[A glimpse into her past, her first maybe love. The start of it all.]
September 27, 1999
Dear Diary,
I found a great guy. He’s kind, sweet, gentle, thoughtful, and caring. He meets me after classes and walks me to my next one. He waits by my locker and helps carry my books. I never thought I would end up with him… I mean… we’ve known each other for three years. All through middle school, and I never thought once, “Hey, I want to date him”. But something happened this year… something happened two weeks ago. I looked at him and realized, “He’s nice. And he’s cute.” He has been so kind to me. He gently takes my hand and holds it as we walk down the hall. He puts his arms around me and hugs me, enveloping me into his kind and gentle heart. He makes me so happy.
But now it’s over. All because I’m 14 and my mother refuses to let me date until I’m in college. I was going behind her back, but she found out. All because she decided to pick me up from school without telling me. She drove up and saw him with his arms around me. I know the very moment she’s talking about. I was smiling like a fool then. I’ve never been so happy. But now, it’s been ripped away from me and all I have left is my pool of tears and my own arms to comfort me.
I had to end it. I came home to find my mother laying in bed, crying. She kept asking me why I would do this to her. It was heartbreaking. But here, to you Diary, I can ask the question that is screaming through my mind and running between the shards of my broken heart. How could she? How could my mother rip happiness away from me? How could she allow my heart to be broken like this? How could she let me feel such horrible pain?
My first boyfriend. He came and went in a week. To think… To know… I could have loved him. But now, I will never have the chance.
Picking up the pieces,
L.A.
1. Dear Diary: An Infatuated Girl October 6, 2009
Posted by bittersweetm in Dear Diary.Tags: Dear Diary, female mind, infatuated, silly girl
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[She's infatuated, oh silly girl. She's falling for the boy, a boy she only recently met. It's not love, but a sick infatuation. Oh dear girl, she can't stop thinking about him. She's calm and cool on the outside, but inside her mind roars the lion of an independent girl trying desperately to find reason amidst her stampeding heart.]
July 16, 2008
Dear Diary,
Why am I doing this to myself? What happened to playing coy? I need to return to that because my current behavior is simply absurd! He needs to become a weekend boy. I need to worry about and concern myself with other things, more important things, during the week. Let things happen naturally, as they happen, remember? Go with the flow instead of forcing things to happen. Control yourself. You don’t need him, so quit behaving like you do. You also need to scale back the “want” for him. You are getting absurd. You’re going to end up throwing him off and pushing him away. Is that really something you want? Think things through before you get yourself into a bad situation. There is also no need to tell him what your nightly plans are. You need to keep him guessing and wondering what you are up to. You also can’t keep the nightly phone calls going either. He needs to wonder and imagine. Remember how you were the first few days? remember your behavior after the first meeting? Remember how angry you were over that text message? Remember the texts that were being passed back then? You need to return to that or else all he’ll see you as is a sexual person. You want more than that, don’t you?
It’s time to go down memory lane and look at past actions, mistakes, and consequences. If this is really someone you want to keep around, then you need to revisit your past so that history is not repeated.
Trying to find reason,
L.A.
Introducing “Dear Diary” October 5, 2009
Posted by bittersweetm in Announcements, Dear Diary.Tags: Dear Diary, female, independent, mind
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Introducing a new series, “Dear Diary” are the personal thoughts of a girl like you and I. It is a new creation from my loopy mind. It’s taking a test drive, seeing how this series connects and how people feel about it. The first piece in this series will be coming tonight!
Blurb: Ever wondered what’s really going on in her mind? She’s independent and fierce, she says what’s on her mind. Or does she? These are the writings of a girl whose inner thoughts are put on paper, into her diary. The inner workings of the independent female mind. It’s what she’s thinking, what she feels. Not what she’s showing.
